Building Bridges: A Product Manager’s Guide to Partnering with Engineering Managers

What Engineering Managers Care About

To build an effective partnership with your EM, you first need to understand their world. EMs typically operate in a different lane from product managers, focusing less on feature roadmaps and more on the systems, processes, and people that make those features possible. Here’s a breakdown of what EMs tend to prioritize:

Code Health and Quality

Engineering Managers are highly invested in the quality of the codebase. They know that quick fixes or rushed features can lead to technical debt—issues that will compound over time, making the product more fragile and harder to maintain. This is why EMs often push back on feature requests that don’t allow enough time for testing, refactoring, or optimizing.

Team Productivity and Morale

EMs are also responsible for their team’s well-being. They care about developer morale and workload, which means they’re cautious of overloading their team or running them into burnout. Product managers can support EMs by aligning feature priorities with team capacity and making sure there’s a balance between new features and maintenance work.

System Stability and Scalability

As the product grows, so does the complexity of the technology that supports it. EMs prioritize stability—ensuring the system runs smoothly for current users—and scalability, so it can handle future demand. They may advocate for infrastructure improvements or technical projects that don’t directly impact the user experience but are crucial for long-term growth.

Reducing Technical Debt

Technical debt is like a ticking time bomb. It can slow down future development, increase costs, and eventually degrade the product. EMs are often on the lookout for ways to manage or reduce technical debt, balancing the immediate needs of the product with the long-term health of the codebase.

Process Efficiency and Continuous Improvement

EMs value efficiency in workflows and aim to minimize bottlenecks or unnecessary steps in the development process. They often look for ways to improve how the team works, whether it’s through better tools, streamlined workflows, or continuous integration practices.

By understanding these priorities, you’re in a better position to collaborate effectively with your EM and make decisions that benefit both product development and engineering.

Five Keys to a Strong EM-PM Partnership

With these priorities in mind, here are five core principles to build a lasting, productive partnership with your Engineering Manager.

1. Align on Outcomes, Not Tasks

EMs don’t need micromanagement, and neither do you. Instead of focusing on specific tasks or deadlines, work together to align on broader outcomes. Discuss what success looks like for the sprint, quarter, or project. When both the PM and EM are accountable for shared outcomes, they naturally develop a mutual respect for each other’s contributions and challenges.

Pro Tip: Start by asking, “What are the most important outcomes we need to achieve this sprint?” This sets a collaborative tone and helps both of you focus on impact rather than process.

2. Respect Their Autonomy and Expertise

EMs are highly skilled at managing their teams and ensuring that deliverables are on track. Trust them to own the engineering side of the process. Your role is to communicate product goals and user needs clearly, while their role is to translate those into technical execution. Avoid dictating how work should be done—instead, empower them to make decisions within their expertise.

Pro Tip: Replace detailed requests with outcome-oriented questions like, “How can we best balance feature delivery with our stability goals?” This respects their autonomy and invites input.

3. Prioritize Open, Direct Communication

Building a strong relationship doesn’t mean endless meetings. Keep communication purposeful, candid, and to the point. EMs don’t want surprises, so make sure you bring up potential risks or scope changes early. The goal is to avoid last-minute curveballs, so make transparency a regular part of your discussions.

Pro Tip: Use asynchronous communication (like Slack) for quick updates, and save meeting time for more substantial conversations that require joint problem-solving.

4. Understand and Support Their Technical Priorities

When your EM advocates for things like tech debt reduction or system upgrades, they’re not trying to push back on your product goals. These are investments in the long-term stability of the product. Show that you understand and support these priorities by proactively discussing ways to balance technical health with new feature development.

Pro Tip: Try asking, “What’s on your radar in terms of technical debt?” This can open the door to productive discussions on how to prioritize maintenance alongside product growth.

5. Focus on Problem-Solving Together

Product and engineering aren’t separate islands; they’re working toward a shared vision. When you run into roadblocks, address them as a team. Instead of viewing challenges as “engineering problems” or “product issues,” frame them as team challenges that require both perspectives to solve.

Pro Tip: When issues arise, approach your EM with, “Here’s a challenge we’re seeing—what’s the best way for us to tackle it?” This approach fosters collaboration and leverages both skill sets.

Coaching Tips: How to Get Started on the Right Foot

If you’re new to working with an Engineering Manager, or just looking to improve an existing relationship, here are some practical tips to get things moving in the right direction:

Kick-Off with a One-on-One

Start with a casual meeting to discuss working styles, priorities, and any friction points. Keep it informal and exploratory—this is about setting the stage for open communication. Ask them about their biggest challenges and how you can best support their team.

Icebreaker Question: “What do you feel makes for a strong PM-EM relationship?” Their answer will give you insight into how to approach the partnership.

Establish a Regular Check-In Rhythm

You don’t need frequent meetings, but setting up a regular cadence, even biweekly, for a quick alignment can be helpful. Use this time to discuss any blockers, realign on goals, or address emerging issues.

Agenda-Free Tip: Keep it simple. Ask, “Is there anything I can take off your plate?” to show your willingness to reduce their burden where possible.

Acknowledge Wins and Small Victories

Take time to recognize engineering achievements, big or small. Whether it’s a successful feature launch or a small improvement in system performance, celebrating these wins shows that you value their contributions beyond just hitting deadlines.

Practical Tip: Send a quick thank-you email or Slack message after a successful release to acknowledge their team’s efforts.

Make Space for Feedback

An open feedback loop is essential for ongoing improvement. Invite your EM to share what’s working and what isn’t in your collaboration, and do the same. Constructive feedback helps you adjust your approach to better serve the partnership.

Feedback Prompt: “What’s one thing I can change to make our collaboration more effective?” This question invites honest feedback that’s focused on improvement.

Experiment with New Practices

Every EM-PM relationship is unique, so don’t be afraid to experiment with different ways of working together. Try shorter meetings, or use shared documents for project tracking instead of status updates. Find what works best for both of you.

Iterative Tip: After trying something new, check in to see how it worked. Small adjustments can yield big results over time.

Closing Thoughts

A strong partnership with your Engineering Manager can amplify your impact across the organization. When you’re aligned on goals and trust each other’s expertise, you’re not just improving daily workflows—you’re creating a foundation that enables your team to drive meaningful progress. Together, you can make smarter decisions, prioritize the work that matters most, and tackle challenges with a united front, building momentum that others will notice and rally behind.

So take that first step: open up the conversation, understand their perspective, and start building a partnership that moves things forward. Your EM isn’t just another teammate—they’re your closest ally in advancing your product, your team, and the organization as a whole.

Ready to enhance your EM-PM partnership? Schedule a free consultation and let's work together to build stronger teams.

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